ivf #1.

it is difficult to summarize every aspect of a full ivf cycle that took us nearly a year to complete, from our first consult to the last transfer’s outcome. there have been so many emotions and moments that simply cannot be described, only remembered.

we started seeing a reproductive endocrinologist in early 2015 after a history of 6 early pregnancy losses and many months not able to get pregnant at all. something was clearly wrong and my ob/gyn could no longer help us. within a few months we were on the track to start ivf, giving ourselves the best odds of getting pregnant and it sticking. after lots of tests and prep work by june, our first ivf cycle was under way.

my medication had arrived and i was ready to jump right in.


daily injections and every other day monitoring appointments of transvaginal ultrasounds and blood work to check my progress.


i was responding nicely to the medication and everything was on track.


my egg retrieval was june 23. everything went well and there were 15 eggs retrieved!




out of the 15 eggs retrieved, 11 were mature and 9 had fertilized. these were great numbers! by day 5, when our embryos should make it to blastocyst stage, we had 4, which our doctor was very pleased with. on june 28, we transferred one embryo. we were ecstatic and so hopeful!


just 5 days post transfer, i had a positive pregnancy test and things continued to progress.


but things did not feel right. even after blood work to confirm we were pregnant, and my levels were great, the same thing that had happened when we naturally got pregnant started and i knew it was over. knowing something is wrong and there’s nothing to do about it made me feel more helpless than i’ve ever experienced. we lost our little apple seed and were absolutely devastated. nothing could have prepared us for how we felt in such a dark time. what is wrong and why does this keep happening to us? not even the doctor we had paid tens of thousands of dollars could offer us any insight. something was wrong.

after some time to grieve the outcome of our fresh transfer and have some additional testing that all came back normal, we were ready to try again and began to prep for a frozen transfer by fall. my lining was looking great and i started intramuscular injections of progesterone.


on october 29, we transferred 2 embryos to increase our odds of one sticking.


10 days after the transfer my blood results were negative. the cycle had failed, we lost both embryos and we were left devastated again. how could it be that we had gotten pregnant 7 previous times, but not even ivf could get us pregnant now? we again, were offered no insight why the cycle did not work and there was no additional testing to offer us. we were simply told to keep trying.

we had one frozen embryo left and the only thing we could do was proceed with another frozen transfer. 2 days before christmas on december 23, we transferred our last embryo from ivf #1. the little embryo that could, we had so much hope for you!



blood results 10 days after transfer confirmed the cycle had failed and we were out of embryos.


our first ivf cycle was a complete bust. it was hard to accept, but all we could do is keep trying and start another ivf. i know someday we’ll look back on this long struggle and it’ll all make sense. it’ll all be worth it.

xo Beck


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